Terrier-Harvested Unhealing Crystals

Begin your unhealing journey with these organic terrier-harvested crystals. Sourced unethically with evil intent, in my back yard in Southern California- the bullshit capital of the world! Each crystal was selected by my Jack Russell Beetlejuice, who works hard in the mines every day to bring me his findings. He is paid by means of our company store- where he trades the crystals for “cookietreats”, a flourishing rocks-as-currency economy that favors almost no one. I then tumble his findings for a week in a rock tumbler made for children’s science fairs. Now you can bring the unhealing home! Each bag is random, and comes with instructions on how to open your nuisance chakra.

Supply limited, restocked weekly.